Monday, November 8, 2010

Thank you sir, may I have another?


With their heartbreaking loss to the Jets yesterday, the Lions did a public service. They reminded all the breathless fans just why they should spend their Sunday afternoons picking apples. Count my Dad and I among the breathless. I have no one to blame but myself. After countless posts pleading with fans to avoid the Lions, I couldn't follow my own advice. I admit... I was excited by the prospect of watching a legitimate NFL team in Detroit once again. Yet, just like their forefathers, the Lions snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

It was such a depressing defeat that long-time Lions center, Dominic Raiola said, "This is the worst loss ever, I think, in my ten years." Folks, to put that statement in perspective, consider that Raiola has a shocking 117 losses to chose from. This loss is worse than the 2002 overtime loss to the Bears when Mohrningweg "took the wind." It's worse than the 41-9 loss to the Colts on Thanksgiving Day in 2004. Worse than the infamous 41-17 loss to the Bengals in 2005 when frustrated Lions' fans, in their Millen Man March, protested outside Ford Field and jeered the home team at every turn inside it ("A weird feeling" said Bengal QB Carson Palmer). Worse than the 2005 OT loss to the Packers where the Lions were inexplicably robbed of a game-winning safety when Packers RB Samkon Gado desperately flipped the ball to no one while getting tackled in the endzone. The referees strangely ruled attempted pass, ignoring a holding call in the endzone as well as intentional grounding. And, last but not least, worse than every single loss during the 0-16 season.

Phew, I'm exhausted just writing that paragraph of horrors.

The Lions indeed have a long and storied history of losing. Yet, the way they gifted the victory to the Jets yesterday truly stands out as a feces-colored gem among the pile o' historic crap.

By my count, the offense had two chances to win the game for the team, and the defense actually had three. They all failed. On the Lions' second-to-last possession (the one where Stafford got hurt), the Lions had a chance to run out the clock and potentially put points on the board. Yet, they were pinned deep and failed to gain more than 6 yards. The Jets got the ball back with 4:26 remaining and down 10 points. It took them just 6 plays and 1:40 to score a touchdown. That's some bad defense, folks.

Then on the ensuing Lions possession, they ran twice, forcing the Jets to use their last timeout. After the two-minute warning, the Lions had a 3rd and 6. Instead of running up the gut, the Lions try a play-action fake. The problem, in my mind, is not that the Lions attempted a pass. I see good teams risk the pass all the time to get that first down. They're playing to win... to not give the ball back. I respect that. The problem is that after Stanton faked the handoff, two Jet players were right in his face, ten yards behind the line of scrimmage! Clearly two Lions completely blew their blocks. Then Stanton made the bone-headed decision to actually pass the ball. The pass bounced about two yards short of his intended receiver, and the Jet sideline stared in disbelief at their good fortune (and ineptitude of the entire Lion organization).

Despite the Jets having just one timeout, the Lions' possession took just 52 seconds off the clock.

After a great punt by Nick Harris, the Lions defense still had an opportunity to preserve the win. Yet, when the Jets had a 3rd and 9 from their own 23, Mrs. Nofrownmotown wondered why I was so depressed. It seemed the Lions were in good position to win the game. My only response was, "It's the Lions." The Jets easily converted that 3rd down and wasted little time getting to the Lions 18 yard line. Julian Peterson helped their cause with a stupid late-hit personal foul, pushing the Jets officially into field goal range. This is when my Dad officially lost it, cursing Peterson and letting his 50+ years of Lion frustration out in full force.

When Folk tied the game with the field goal, the Lions' fate was sealed. The Jets of course won the toss and mercifully ended the game five plays later.

Thank you, Lions. My Sundays are mine once again.

No comments:

Post a Comment