Dear Lions Fans

To the 15,000 sorry souls who braved the treacherous rain to go watch a practice,

Why? When you have such glorious sports franchises in your home town, why would you waste an entire Saturday watching the worst team in professional sports history?

Think of it like a cost-benefit analysis. The costs:

1. Financial (tickets to games, merchandise)
2. Emotional (if they lose...)
3. Time (perhaps the biggest cost, especially for the NFL)

For all the other Detroit teams, the benefits:

Pistons

1. 3-time NBA champion, most recently in 2004
2. An organization with a proven commitment to winning - in the last 24 years, they've made the playoffs 19 times
3. 14 Hall of Famers
4. Cheap tickets and a family-friendly venue

Tigers

1. Currently a first-place team!
2. 4-time MLB champion, albeit the most recent was 1984 - World Series finalist as recently as '06
3. Commitment to winning - 4th largest payroll in baseball, despite Detroit's economy
4. 20 Hall of Famers, plus one potential HOFer currently on the roster
5. Cheap tickets and a family-friendly venue

Red Wings

1. Premier organization in all of hockey
2. 11 Stanley Cups, 55 Playoff appearances, including 18 straight - the longest streak in any professional sport
3. Commitment to winning. Prior to the salary cap, the Wings were big spenders and an elite franchise. Post salary cap, the Wings focus on savvy drafting, player development, and investing long-term in a player's career (and post-hockey career)
4. 40 Hall of Famers (41 if you count the not-yet-eligible Yzerman), plus three potential HOFers currently on the roster

As for the Lions, they don't qualify for any of the above benefits. They have no history of winning, nor a consistent record of making the playoffs. They have no commitment to winning. In fact, it could be argued they have a commitment to losing. Despite Matt Millen's 24-72 record and dreadful draft history after the '06 season, the management waited two more years before finally letting him go. And then replaced him with his assistant.

The Lions have the stigma of being the only team to ever go 0-16 in a season. Despite all that, you Lions fans continue to come out in droves. You'll watch the team practice, you'll call-in to radio shows, you'll post messages online. It's like you're stuck in an abusive relationship that you can't escape.

Allow me to say something drastically uncouth: The NFL ain't that cool.

I know it's not really the Lions that you love. It's the NFL. They're the hot chick in school that everyone loves because she's popular. In reality, she's got the personality of a slug. Stop being the drone. Break free from the NFL's chains. Win back your free time! Stop deluding yourself that "this will be the year!" The Lions are dreadful. There's no hope. Go apple picking instead.